Who to Contact or Whom to Contact: who is a subject pronoun (use it when the pronoun does the action); whom is an object pronoun (use it when the pronoun receives the action or follows a preposition). Use the he/him substitution test: if he fits, use who; if him fits, use whom. Apply the rule in questions, emails, forms, and embedded clauses so your phrasing stays natural and correct in both spoken and written English.
Clear examples will label parts of speech, show subject–verb agreement, and demonstrate where prepositions require whom. Keep modifiers close to the words they change and favor short, active sentences for clarity. Use the quick checklist (identify role → apply he/him test → check prepositions → match tone) to pick the right form every time.
Contextual Examples
Quick Rule Summary (Parts of Speech Focus)
Who and whom are pronouns. Who is a subject pronoun (like he, she, they). Whom is an object pronoun (like him, her, them).
- Use who when the pronoun acts as the subject of a verb.
- Use whom when the pronoun acts as the object of a verb or preposition.
Parts of speech to watch: pronouns, verbs, objects, prepositions, and conjunctions. Always check the verb for correct tense and agreement with its subject.
Example 1 — Direct Question (Subject)
Sentence: Who called the office this morning?
Parts of speech and checks: Who (pronoun, subject) called (verb, past tense, singular or plural depends on who) the (article) office (noun, object) this (adjective) morning (noun).
Comment: Who is correct because the pronoun is the subject of called.
Example 2 — Direct Question (Object)
Sentence: Whom did you call yesterday?
Parts of speech and checks: Whom (pronoun, object) did (auxiliary verb, past) you (pronoun, subject) call (verb, base) yesterday (adverb).
Comment: Whom is correct because the pronoun is the object of call. Note subject–verb order in question form.
Example 3 — Embedded Question in a Sentence
Sentence: Please tell me who to contact about the refund.
Parts of speech and checks: Please (adverb, polite) tell (verb, imperative) me (pronoun, object) who (pronoun) to (infinitive marker) contact (verb, base) about (preposition) the (article) refund (noun).
Comment: Who to contact is common and natural here. The pronoun functions as the subject of the infinitive to contact in modern English usage; many speakers use who in such cases.
Example 4 — Formal Object After Preposition
Sentence: Please advise whom to contact for legal issues.
Parts of speech and checks: Please (adverb) advise (verb) whom (pronoun, object) to (infinitive marker) contact (verb) for (preposition) legal (adjective) issues (noun, plural).
Comment: Whom is more formal and strictly correct when the pronoun is the object, especially after a verb like advise or after a preposition.
Example 5 — Prepositional Object
Sentence: To whom should I send the report?
Parts of speech and checks: To (preposition) whom (pronoun, object of preposition) should (modal auxiliary) I (pronoun, subject) send (verb, base) the (article) report (noun).
Comment: When a preposition is present, whom is the correct object form. In casual speech people often say Who should I send the report to? Both are widely used but the first is more formal.
Example 6 — Embedded Object With Infinitive
Sentence: He did not know whom to ask for help.
Parts of speech and checks: He (pronoun, subject) did (auxiliary, past) not (adverb) know (verb) whom (pronoun, object) to (infinitive marker) ask (verb, base) for (preposition) help (noun).
Comment: Whom is standard when the pronoun is the object of ask.
Example 7 — Casual Speech Use
Sentence: I don’t know who to call about this noise.
Parts of speech and checks: I (pronoun, subject) do (auxiliary) not (adverb) know (verb) who (pronoun) to (infinitive marker) call (verb) about (preposition) this (determiner) noise (noun).
Comment: Many speakers use who for both subject and object in informal contexts. This sentence is widely accepted in speech.
Common Mistakes
Mistake 1 — Using Who When Whom Is Required
Error: Who did you give the form to? (casual) vs Whom did you give the form to? (formal)
Why it happens: Word order in questions and everyday speech often hides the object role. People mirror subject patterns and say who by habit.
Fix: Test with a pronoun: replace who/whom with he/him or they/them. If him works, use whom. Example: You gave the form to him → Whom did you give the form to?
Mistake 2 — Avoiding Whom After Prepositions
Error: Who are you speaking with? (informal) vs With whom are you speaking? (formal)
Why it happens: Many speakers move the preposition to the end and use who.
Fix: Use whom after a preposition in formal writing: With whom are you speaking? Or rephrase: Who are you speaking with? Keep audience and tone in mind.
Mistake 3 — Misidentifying Subject in Embedded Clauses
Error: Do you know who fixed the sink? (correct — who is subject) vs Do you know whom fixed the sink? (wrong).
Why it happens: People sometimes confuse the embedded clause structure and apply object form incorrectly.
Fix: Identify the clause: who fixed the sink — who is the subject of fixed, so use who.
Mistake 4 — Overuse of Whom in Casual Writing
Error: Using whom in all cases to sound formal.
Why it happens: Writers mimic formal grammar without checking structure.
Fix: Use whom only when it is the object. Overusing whom can sound stilted and awkward in casual texts.
Mistake 5 — Neglecting Verb Agreement in Questions
Error: Who is they calling? or Whom are he calling?
Why it happens: Sloppy subject–verb matching or confusion about pronouns.
Fix: Ensure the verb matches the real subject: Who are they calling? (they = subject, are = plural) and Whom is he calling? (he = subject, is = singular)
American vs British English Differences
General Pattern
Both American and British English follow the same grammatical rule: who as subject, whom as object. Usage trends differ by formality and register rather than region.
Formality and Preposition Placement
- British English: Tends to preserve preposition-fronted forms in formal writing: To whom should we address the complaint?
- American English: More tolerant of ending questions with prepositions in speech and informal writing: Who should we address the complaint to? Both versions are understood; pick tone-appropriate form.
Trends in Casual Speech
In both varieties, everyday speech favors who even where whom is strict. For example, Who did you see? is normal and rarely corrected in conversation. Formal letters and academic writing still prefer whom in object positions.
Style Guide Notes
Style guides differ: some recommend avoiding whom if it sounds forced. University and legal writing often keep whom. Journalism and web content often use who for readability, unless the context is formal.
Idiomatic Expressions
Common Phrases With Who/Whom
- Who are you? — direct subject question.
- Whom it may concern — formal salutation in letters.
- Who’s to say? — idiom meaning nobody can tell.
Parts of speech: Check pronouns and subject-verb pairings in each phrase.
Fixed Formal Phrases
- To Whom It May Concern — set formal phrase; whom is correct because it is the object of to.
- For Whom the Bell Tolls — title using whom after for.
These phrases preserve older formal usage and remain correct in formal contexts.
Casual Idioms That Drop Whom
- Who cares? — subject who, verb cares; casual, idiomatic.
- Who do you think you are? — uses who in a challenge; grammatically the embedded clause may involve object use but everyday grammar accepts who.
When Idioms Guide Choice
If you use a fixed phrase like To Whom It May Concern, use whom because the phrase is established. For fresh writing, prefer clarity and tone over slavish formality.
Practical Tips
Tip 1 — Use the “He/Him” Test
Replace who/whom with he/him or they/them. If him/ them fits grammatically, use whom. Example:
- You asked who/whom? → You asked him? → so use whom.
This test works for both questions and embedded clauses.
Tip 2 — Look for Prepositions
If the pronoun follows a preposition (to, for, with, by, about), use whom. Example: To whom did you speak? If you move the preposition to the end, keep the object form in formal writing or shift to informal who in casual contexts.
Tip 3 — Check Clause Role
Identify whether the pronoun begins a clause that contains a verb. If it does and it performs the action, use who. If it receives the action or follows a preposition, use whom.
Tip 4 — When Writing Emails and Formal Letters
Prefer whom in salutations and where you want a formal tone: To whom it may concern or Could you tell me whom I should contact about billing? In short emails or messages, who is often fine.
Tip 5 — Keep Sentences Short for Clarity
Short sentences make it easier to identify subjects and objects:
Who called? Whom did you call?
Tip 6 — Use Rephrasing to Avoid Awkwardness
If whom sounds stiff, rephrase the sentence: Who should I contact about refunds? instead of Whom should I contact about refunds? Both are clear; the first is more conversational.
Tip 7 — Read Aloud and Check Flow
Reading the sentence out loud helps spot awkwardness. If a sentence sounds formal or forced, rework it. Keep verb tenses consistent and check agreement after rephrasing.
Tip 8 — Teach the Rule With Examples
When helping others, show both forms side by side: Who called? vs Whom did you call? Use the he/him replacement test so learners can check quickly.
Tip 9 — Use Reliable Grammar Tools If Unsure
Grammar guides and style manuals can help in tough cases. Online checks often flag whom suggestions; use them alongside your own test.
Tip 10 — Balance Correctness and Readability
Aim for grammatical accuracy in formal contexts and natural readability in casual ones. If a sentence will be read by many people or appears in print, prefer the stricter form where needed.
Revision Examples and Edits
Original: Who should the report be sent to?
Analysis: Who (pronoun) should (auxiliary) the (article) report (noun) be (verb) sent (past participle) to (preposition). Casual, acceptable.
Formal edit: To whom should the report be sent?
Analysis: To (preposition) whom (object pronoun) should (auxiliary) the (article) report (noun) be (verb) sent (past participle). Formal and correct.
Original: I don’t know whom is coming to the meeting.
Problem: Whom (object pronoun) is incorrectly used as subject of is coming.
Fix: I don’t know who is coming to the meeting.
Checks: Who (subject pronoun) is (verb, singular) coming (present participle) to (preposition) the (article) meeting (noun).
Original: Please tell me who I should meet with.
Analysis: Who functions as object of meet with in casual use; grammar test: Should I meet him? → him matches whom, so formal form is whom I should meet with or with whom I should meet. Rephrase for smoothness: Please tell me whom I should meet or Please tell me who I should meet with. Choose tone.
Original: Whom is responsible for the task?
Problem: Whom used as subject.
Fix: Who is responsible for the task?
Check: Who (subject) is (verb) responsible (adjective) for (preposition) the (article) task (noun).
Conclusion
Use who when the pronoun is the subject and whom when it is the object or follows a preposition. Quick tests: substitute he/him or place the pronoun after any preposition; choose the form that matches. In formal letters and legal text prefer whom where grammatically required; in everyday speech and casual writing who often sounds natural and acceptable. Keep sentences short, check verb agreement, and read the line aloud—if the pronoun feels awkward, rephrase the sentence to avoid uncertainty.
FAQs
- Q: When should I use “who to contact” instead of “whom to contact”?
A: Use who to contact when the pronoun acts like a subject in the phrase or when you want a casual, natural tone; test by trying a subject pronoun such as he or they. - Q: When is “whom to contact” correct?
A: Use whom to contact when the pronoun is the object of a verb or preposition, or when writing in a formal register; test by replacing with him or them. - Q: How does the “he/him” test work?
A: Replace who/whom with he/him or they/them. If him/them fits, use whom; if he/they fits, use who. - Q: Is it okay to end a question with a preposition like “Who should I contact about this?”
A: Yes; ending with a preposition is common and sounds natural. For formal writing, you can front the preposition: About whom should I contact? or better: Whom should I contact about this? - Q: How do I choose between clarity and formality?
A: If your audience is formal or the text is official, prefer correct whom usage. For everyday messages or web content, choose the more natural-sounding who when it reads clearly. - Q: What is a quick rule for questions with prepositions?
A: After a preposition, use whom in formal contexts: To whom should I address the letter? In casual contexts, Who should I address the letter to? is fine. - Q: What short checklist helps me pick the right form?
A: Identify whether the pronoun acts as subject or object; do the he/him replacement test; check for prepositions; choose formality level; rephrase if needed for clarity.
